A student of mine had an important insight a few days ago. I'll call her Lacey. I teach at a juvenile detention center school and Lacey is a girl who has had some challenges in her young life. Lacey has a 2 year old daughter who she misses greatly and wants to be with. This daughter is her motivation to change her life.
Our students often get caught up in only seeing what they want to see and defending the reasons they are in detention. Marijuana is a big issue, with students having tunnel vision in their defense of it and their ability to choose and be independent. Lacey asked a fellow student if he would introduce marijuana to his child at a young age and teach his child how to use it. The student said no, of course he wouldn't. Lacey then told the student that he did not believe in marijuana then. Lacey then related how she used to cut herself as a coping strategy. She struggled with this behavior, occasionally going back to it in times of depression or stress. A counselor asked her once if she would give a blade to her young child and teach the child how to do it and do it together. A stunned Lacey answered no, she loved her daughter and wanted only the best for her. The counselor said that if she wouldn't teach her child a certain behavior, then she did not believe in it herself and knew it was wrong. As she related this story, Lacey said that from that time on, her test of whether something was good for her or not was to ask if she would allow her child to do it or teach it to her child.
I think about this in my own life. Would I have my child eat the junk food I eat? Would I let my child view the movies and TV shows I watch? Would I introduce them to a website? Would I sit next to them and teach them how to do things that hurt their mind, body or spirit? Would I teach or introduce them to habits, entertainment, media, language and behaviors I choose? I love my kids more than I love myself and I treat them better than I treat myself. It's too easy to excuse a behavior with a negative consequence for me, but if it's harmful to my kids I'd be quick to protect them. Why not protect myself too?
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